Disenchanted

"Ah, my friend, amore is what you're missing!" Parker said grandly. "No, I'm kidding. Don't worry, with a bit of my wonderfully charming persuasion, I'm sure he'll be up to meeting you."

"Oh god, please tell me that your persuasion techniques are not sexual in any way, I may need to wash out my brain," Ethan muttered, rubbing his temples, then the scrubble on his jaw that had accumulated after being too busy to shave for four days, "Anyway, I do not need amore and, believe it or not, you're not helping my work, so if you could please leave, I have some potions for the shop that I need to make."

"My sexual persuasion techniques work wonders! Though, they somehow don't work on you. If only..." Parker sighed wistfully. "Ethan, everyone needs a little amore in their life, especially you. Sad, little, lonely you. Well, anyway, I'll talk to my friend. He'll probably say yes. Talk to you later, then."

"Ok, first of all, never offer to persuade me again, I am a potions master and I can put terrible things in your food. Second, I don't need your amore, or whatever the fuck, I need to make my potions and I need you to get out of my shop." Ethan said and, with that, he shoved Parker towards the door.

SKIP TO HEART-DEALING.

"Well, well, well," Kai said upon noticing Parker and his friend. He whistled lowly. "If it isn't Parker the playful pirate! What can I do you for, boys? Who's your, uh, little friend? You're not corrupting him morally, are you?"

"Parker the playful pirate? Never been called that before," Parker said, smirking and nonchalantly wrapping his arm around Kai's waist. "Fitting, I suppose. This is Ethan, the potions master. Remember, the guy I was telling you about? He's interested in heart-dealing. And no, not corrupting him morally."

"No groping while I'm in the room, please," Ethan told Parker dryly, then said to Kai, "It's nice to meet you. I hope that Parker hasn't been annoying you too much."

"Nice to meet you too, cutie pie!" Kai said, reaching out and pinching Ethan's cheek. "Parker's not that annoying. But he's been annoying you, I suppose? Don't worry--I'll take care of his punishment. Idiot pirate won't bother you anymore once I'm through with him. Well, anyway, what's the potions master doing here? What do you need to know about heart-dealing?"

Ethan felt the strong urge to turn around and leave the building, the town, and possibly the continent, because seriously, why did he meet all the deranged sexually harassing weirdos? But his curiosity took over, and he replied, "Well, I wanted to know the mechanics of it, basically, how it works, what can go wrong, what to do and what not to do, things like that.'

"Well, first of all, if you're looking at it through a moral point of view, you shouldn't even do it in the first place. If you're looking at it through a fun point of view, then it's pretty amazing." Kai looked at his watch. "Actually, if you want to hang around for five minutes, my cousin should be coming in. Prime example of heart-dealing at its best and worst. I'll use him as a model."

"Ok, sounds good to me," Ethan nodded, trying not to tap his foot against the floor, "Moral issues aren't a problem for me, just so you know. I'm up for anything."

"Moral issues not a problem? Well then, that's a good thing to hear," Kai chuckled.

((Colonel, you can bust in now...))

"Neely? I'm going for lunch. I should be back in an hour or so, all right?" she called back to the barn-type structure that sat above one of those 'rickety-looking-but-somehow-stable' houses. They were scattered across the town on top of various businesses and shops. This one house in particular was under the ownership of whomever was running the pet shop at the time. Maria lived in one by the bay on the far side of town.

"Have fun! Be ready to clean the pegasus stalls when you come back," Neely called back in his usual cheery voice, waving from the barn. As soon as she left he would try and push a sale on one of the unicorn foals to make the money in time...

Maria grabbed her purse and set for the local market, which had its share of restaurants, delis, and etcetera.

As if on cue, Scott plowed through the doorway, not even bothering to knock. He stared at Parker wrapped around his cousin and a person he'd never seen before with the adventurer. "Well, seems as if it's a party now, hmm? I wasn't aware other people were going to be here, not to mention one's an idiot who thinks he's a pirate and the other is someone I don't know."

Kai sighed, rolling his eyes at his cousin's extremely childish behavior. "I wasn't aware I had to tell you that more people were coming. All you ever come here to do is complain, anyway. Besides, Parker and his friend were a last minute plan. It's all in good fun, Scotty. Lighten up." He shrugged. "That's Parker's friend, Ethan. Now you know him."

"You two should learn to plan things ahead of time so it doesn't affect others," Scott said, not amused. He then turned to Parker's friend. "Hello, I'm Scott Copeland, cousin of Kai. It's... nice to meet you, I suppose."

"Ethan Vaughn, nice to be of your acquaintance," Ethan nodded politely, eying Scott cautiously. Scott was short, blond, and scowling, and Ethan matched his expression.

Neeley heard the door close, and immediately he began brushing and cleaning the unicorns. Maybe he could sell one to Ethan, it seemed like a fitting gift.
"So much debt so little time" Neeley murmured darkly, sending the horned creatures back into their designated stalls.

"Of course it is. It's a pleasure for anyone to be of my acquaintance or whatever you said. Consider yourself blessed," Scott said, also giving Ethan a good once-over. "Why, exactly, are you here?"

Ethan gave Parker a quick 'Is he serious?' look, then said to Scott, "I was interested in heart-dealing, and Parker said he knew a guy."

"Oh, so you're one of those people," Scott sneered, crossing his arms and giving Ethan a harsh glare. "Doesn't it bother you that you're going to be messing around with another's heart? The nerve of people these days. Sickening."

"Which is why you sold yours, of course, so people can 'mess around' with it? Wow, you're not a hypocrite at all." Ethan snapped back, glaring at Scott.

"Oh, of course. I just sold it because it seemed like a fun idea at the time," Scott joked, voice scathing. He rolled his eyes. "Listen here, you do not know anything about my current predicament, so don't make comments as if you do."

"You don't know me. Don't assume things, because I'm a potions master and I could easily poison you, slowly and painfully. Not that you'd care, of course," Ethan warned, not breaking eye contact with Scott.

"You? Poison me? Oh, only in your dreams, my dear," Scott said with a sarcastic smile. "I wouldn't care mainly because I doubt you'd be able to do it. Would you have the heart to kill someone? A doctor who's saved countless lives? I surely hope not, or else I'd be very, very concerned."